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| Posted by robby russo on 14-Aug-2005 | Why Coffee is Better than Women1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste
good.
2. Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.
3. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
5. You can always warm coffee up.
6. Coffee comes with endless refills.
7. Coffee is cheaper.
8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at AM.
9. Coffee never runs out.
10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
11. You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.
12. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
13. You can smoke while drinking coffee.
14. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.
15. Coffee smells and tastes good.
16. You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.
17. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.
18. You can always get fresh coffee.
19. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot
when you get back.
20. They sell coffee at police stations.
21. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
22. Coffee goes down easier.
23. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on
weight.
24. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of
coffee.
25. A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.
26. Your coffee doesn't talk to you.
27. Coffee smells good in the morning.
28. Coffee is good when it's cold too.
29. Coffee stains are easier to remove.
30. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.
31. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.
32. Coffee doesn't shed.
33. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.
34. You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in
it.
35. Coffee doesn't mind being ground.
36. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.
37. Coffee doesn't have a time of the month... it's good all the
time.
38. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.
39. When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pubic in the
back of your throat.
40. Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.
41. Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at AM and decide to have
a cup.
42. INSTANT COFFEE!
43. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.
44. It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.
45. Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.
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| Posted by XX2Gurly4UXX on 14-Aug-2005 | MenQ: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
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| Posted by Carla J. Hicks on 14-Aug-2005 | Men...Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties...
Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapor lock.
Q: Why do men like masturbation?
A: Because it's sex with someone they love...
Q: Why are men like laxitives?
A: Because they irritate the shit out of you...
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| Posted by sus lee on 14-Aug-2005 | Women?1) Is it just me or do women always have to own ten thousand
shoes that they never use?
2) Is is just me, or when you ask a women what's wrong, and she
says something like "fine" or "nothing" it really means "I'm
pissed off at you and you have about twenty minutes to guess,
take responsibility say sorry ten times or your cut off for two
weeks."
3) Why do women have to look at everything when they go
shopping? And then get mad at us when we don't wanna go?
4) Why can't we plain old quick hot monkey sex with a women,
instead of "making love"
5) Why can't women accept the fact that lesbians are cool!
6) Why can't women accept that when an attractive women walks by
with a low cut top and huge breasts we have no control over
staring at them!
7) Why can't women get over the fact that when ever they ask
"how do I look", and we say fine, we always have to say yes!
8) Sports are the ultimate escape for us guys who are no good at
them, let us watch them in peace or don't expect us to go to a
ballet or opera.
9) If the toilet seat is up, do the logical thing and put it
down!
10) Don't expect guys to like your dad or ex-boyfriend
11) Realize that guys are no too bright, so when we say we're
fine we probably are. If you wanna know what is going on in a
guy's mind it's either the Smurfs theme music or some useless
sports stuff.
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| Posted by Justin T. Beilstein on 14-Aug-2005 | 39 and HoldingA woman was asked by a young child how old she was. She answered "39 and
holding." The child thought for a moment, and then said, "and how old
would you be if you let go?"
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| Posted by Jamee M. Warner on 14-Aug-2005 | A dictionary for womenArgument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
--------------------------
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't
realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n.
-------------------
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a
policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n.
------------------------
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the
tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned
everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
----------------------------
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n.
--------------------------
Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.
--------------------------------
An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.
--------------------------
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound
bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
--------------------------
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
-----------------------
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a
purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
-----------------------------------
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with
you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
------------------------------
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to
duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
---------------------------------
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming
out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
--------------------------
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold
your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."
Lipstick (lip*stik) n.
----------------------
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On
his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
Park (park) v./n.
-----------------
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck."
After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and
slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
----------------------
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.
See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
----------------------------------------------
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if
you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
-------------------------------------
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds,
and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
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