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| Posted by Jr Mcgrath on 09-Aug-2005 | Why Did You Die?A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave.
The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, "Why did you die? Why did you die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't want to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of hurt and pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply?
Was it your Child? A parent? Who may I ask, lies in that grave?"
The mourner answered, "My wife's first husband! ... Why did you die? Why did you die?"
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| Posted by Mark L. Hamburg on 09-Aug-2005 | Do You Know How TooMan walks up to a farmers house, knocks on the door.
When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex.
Not amused, she slammed the door.
Again, the man knocked, again, asked the same question.
Again, not amused , she screamed get the hell away.
Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case.
Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door.
When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said yes.
The man replied, great, give some to your husband the next time you see him , and tell him to keep away from my wife.
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| Posted by Gen_Aftertaste on 09-Aug-2005 | 75 Year Old HusbandOn the fourth day of their honeymoon, the 21 year old bride was begging for mercy from her 75 year old husband.
Rather than endure yet another lovemaking session, she slipped out of the room while he was showering and went to the hotel coffee shop.
The waitress, who had served the couple breakfast each day, was shocked at the woman's appearance.
"Honey, you're just a young thing," she remarked, "but you look like hell. What's up?"
"I've been double-crossed," the miserable bride moaned. "When he said he'd been saving up for 50 years, I thought he meant CASH!"
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| Posted by M CO on 09-Aug-2005 | Poker MatesLeaving the poker party late, as usual, two friends compared notes.
"I can never fool my wife." the first complained. "I turn off the car's engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom.
But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."
"You got the wrong technique my friend." his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on her ass and say 'How about a little ?'
She always pretends to be asleep!!!"
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| Posted by Rose Petal on 09-Aug-2005 | Is The Coast Clear?The phone rings in the middle of the night.
Before the wife can get it, her husband answers.
He hears a man's voice asking if the coast is clear.
"Jesus, man " he hollers "how the hell should I know? The ocean's 30 miles east of here."
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| Posted by PIMP on 09-Aug-2005 | Miss RightI married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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