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():dirty jokes (1575): Why is giving a Blow Job a win/lose sitiuation?...


Posted by Beau B. Churchill on 07-Aug-2005

Why is giving a Blow Job a win/lose sitiuation?...

Why is giving a Blow Job a win/lose sitiuation?
He may have you at his knees, but you have him by the balls.

   

6 people have rated this joke:
9.33/10
     

():dirty jokes (1575): A young man is starting his first ever job...


Posted by Mickey Kirksey on 07-Aug-2005

A young man is starting his first ever job...

A young man is starting his first ever job at a morgue. The boss of the morgue thinks, "I'll throw him in at the deep end on his first day, give him a real challenge". So he takes the young man to a door, and he tells the young man, "Behind this door is a room with nothing in it apart from a dead old woman lying completely naked on a slab. You have to go in and inspect her body."

"Inspect her body?" the young man asks.

"Yes", replies the Boss, "Check if everything's OK"

So the young man goes through the door into the room, and the boss waits outside. After what seems like a very long time, the young man comes out of the room.

"Everything OK?" asks the boss.

"Yes", answers the young man, "Except one thing. She's got a prawn stuck up her cunt."

"She's got a prawn stuck up her cunt!!?", exclaims the boss, astonished.

"Yes", replies the young man.

The boss decides he has to go and check this. So he goes into the room, and the young man waits outside. The boss quickly returns, and the young man says, "See, I told you".

"That's not a prawn, that's her clittoris!", explains the boss.

"Well, it tasted like a prawn", answers the young man.

   

2 people have rated this joke:
9.00/10
     

():dirty jokes (1575): Pickup lines of dubious value:...


Posted by Ashley E. Volling on 07-Aug-2005

Pickup lines of dubious value:...

Pickup lines of dubious value:
  • That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed.
  • Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
  • Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
  • Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
  • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  • Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
  • You smell wet. Let's party!
  • If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?
  • Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew!
  • You look just like a hooker I know in New York.
  • If you've lost your virginity, can I have the package it came in?
  • I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
  • Nice dress, could I talk you out of it?
  • Excuse me. Have I fucked you yet?

   

1 people have rated this joke:
9.00/10
     

():dirty jokes (1575): How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen...


Posted by Vince -. Thomas on 07-Aug-2005

How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen...

How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.

   

2 people have rated this joke:
9.00/10
     

():dirty jokes (1575): Have you heard the one about the . . . ....


Posted by Stu Pidmoron on 07-Aug-2005
Have you heard the one about the . . . ....
Have you heard the one about the . . . .

. . . executive who was so old that when he chased his secretary around the desk, he couldn't remember why.

   

2 people have rated this joke:
8.00/10
     

():dirty jokes (1575): One night a drunk is walking down the sidewalk...


Posted by tweets on 07-Aug-2005
One night a drunk is walking down the sidewalk...
One night a drunk is walking down the sidewalk holding his car keys out in front of him. He ends up walking into a police officer.

The officer says to the man,"sir are you ok?"

"Officer someone just stole my car!"

"Now sir how do you know someone stole your car?"

The man replies,"Well, the last time I saw it, it was at the end of my key!"

The officer says,"Jesus Christ your drunk, for God's sake I should arrest you for indecent exposure," pointing to the man's crotch,"you have your dick hanging out of your pants!"

The man looks down and says "Holy shit!"

"Now what?"

"Someone just stole my girlfriend!"

   

3 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

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