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| Posted by Matt Armstrong on 09-Aug-2005 | WHYWHY DID GOD MAKE MAN WITH 2 LEGS?????
HE MADE A BALLS OUT OF THE 3RD
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| Posted by Andy Duraaaaaaaaaaaan on 09-Aug-2005 | gomber pyle in theatone day gomber pyle took his girlfriend to the movies and while they're waiting for the movie to start he says honey can i put my arms around you and she says sure and he did so a couple minutes later he says dear can i kiss you passiontly and she says why not so they kiss for about 3 minutes straight so about 5 minutes later he says baby can i blow in you ear and she says o.k. so he does then he says baby can i put my finger in your belly button and she says o.k. i guess so around that time the lights go out and the movie starts and all of a sudden she screams and yells and says you bastard that ain't my belly button and he says surprise surprise that ain't my finger either.
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| Posted by shane on 09-Aug-2005 | WhyWhy do they make glow in the dark condoms?
So gay guys can play star wars.
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| Posted by Lindsey L. D on 09-Aug-2005 | Weighing PigsA man decides he wants to have a pig roast, so he goes out to a pig farm to buy one.
He agrees on a per pound price with the farmer and then begins to select a pig.
"How about that one?"
"OK, replies the farmer."
The farmer then picks up the pig, puts its tail in his mouth, lets it hang from his mouth, and then declares, "This one weighs 74 pounds."
"That's amazing," the man says, "are you sure you can tell a pig's weight by using that method?"
"Yep," replies the farmer, "we've used this method in our family for generations."
To prove his accuracy, the farmer puts the pig on a scale and it weighs exactly 74 pounds.
"My son can do it too," boasts the farmer. And sure enough, the farmer's son comes over, puts another pig's tail in his mouth, lets it hang, and then says, "This one weighs 83 pounds."
The farmer then confirms his son's accuracy with the scale.
"My wife can do it too," says the farmer.
"Son, go get your mother."
The boy runs off to the house and returns a few minutes later.
"Mom can't come out right now," says the son, "she's busy weighing the mailman."
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| Posted by E G on 09-Aug-2005 | Leaving Her...Pierre, Marie, and their six children lived in a log cabin on the edge of a lake in northern Quebec. One day, Pierre decided he had had enough and set out across the lake in his canoe.
Seeing this, Marie hollered out to him, "Pierre, what are you doing?"
Pierre replied "Woman, I'm leaving you!"
Marie hollered "But Pierre, what about our marriage?"
Pierre replied "To hell with the marriage. Woman, I'm leaving you!" He kept paddling across the lake.
Marie hollered "But Pierre, what about our beautiful cabin?"
Pierre replied "To hell with the cabin. Woman, I'm leaving you!" He kept paddling across the lake.
Marie hollered "But Pierre, what about our beautiful children?"
Pierre replied "To hell with the children. Woman, I'm leaving you!" He kept paddling across the lake.
Then Marie hikes up her skirt, points to her crotch and hollers, "But Pierre, what about this?"
As Pierre slowly turns the canoe around he mumbles, "Someday I'm going to leave that damn woman."
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| Posted by Rougewisp on 09-Aug-2005 | When Did You Realise"Darling," murmured the girl to her boyfriend, "when did you first realise that you were in love with me?"
"Well, I suppose.."
whispered the man tenderly, "it was when I started getting angry with all the other guys in the office who said you were a lousy lay."
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