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| Posted by Andrew Bruno on 09-Aug-2005 | Wilkinsons Razors"Y'all got any American razor blades in here?" the Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinsons."
"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo."
"I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's Ark if they ain't any good," the Texan retorted.
"I can assure you they are very good sir." the peeved druggist said. "Why just last year, my wife swallowed one. It gave her a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the gardener, emasculated a neighbor, cut two of a delivery boy's fingers off at the knuckle -- and I still got 10 shaves out of it."
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| Posted by David Cordell on 09-Aug-2005 | Cool, Carm...A man on a business trip went to a singles bar, approached two ladies, and offered either of them two hundred dollars to spend the night with him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other remained cool, calm... and collected.
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| Posted by sam bennett on 09-Aug-2005 | Blood TestA guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken.
The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood.
She can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy, takes his finger and sucks it.
The guy is so pleased he asks; "Do you think I could have a urine test too?"
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| Posted by ??? on 09-Aug-2005 | Snow in JuneThe big-rig driver stopped to pick up a girl hitchhiker who was wearing very short shorts.
"What's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up into the truck.
"It's Snow -- Roy Snow," he answered, "and yours?"
"Me, I'm June Hansen," she said.
"Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?" she challenged the trucker a few miles down the road.
"Oh, I was just thinkin' what it might be like," he drawled, "having eight inches of Snow in June?"
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| Posted by Notum on 09-Aug-2005 | Quick Blow JobThe boy just takes the girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blow job?"
"What? You're crazy???!!!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night no one will show up.."
"I've already said NO, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you like it too.."
"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
"My love.. don't be like that.."
At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with her hair totally in disorder, rubbing her eyes and says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blow job himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
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| Posted by Sam on 09-Aug-2005 | Pimple HeadLewis has a big pimple in the middle of his forehead. A big, huge pimple, and it won't go away. So he goes to the doctor.
The doctor examines him and says, "Oh my! You've got a penis growing out of the middle of your forehead!"
Lewis says, "Oh, no, Doc! What can you do?"
The doctor says, "Don't worry. Once it's fully grown, we can remove it completely."
Lewis says, "What do you mean, FULLY GROWN?! Doc, I can't spend years and years staring at that thing, waiting for it to grow!"
The doctor says, "Well, you won't have to stare at it for long. Pretty soon, the balls will cover your eyes."
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