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| Posted by janet on 10-Aug-2005 | Winter LoversTwo young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When
they get there the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he
says,???'Honey, my hands are freezing!??? She says, ???Well put them between my thighs
and that will warm them up.???
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says
again, ???Man! My hands are really freezing!??? She says again, ???Well. put them
between my thighs and warm them up again.??? He does, and again that warms him
up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood to get them through
the night. When he returns to the cabin, he states once again, ???Honey, my hands
are really, really freezing.??? She looks at him and says, ???For crying out loud,
don't your ears ever get cold????
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| Posted by Someone Funny on 10-Aug-2005 | He'n & She'nThe preacher stood before the congregation. ''Brothers and Sisters, I
understand that there have been some he'n and she'n going on. I will not
tolerate fornication in my church. All of those who are guilty, leave my
presence.'' So some men and women exited the church. ''Brothers and Sisters, I
also understand that there have been some he'n and he'n goin' on. Those who are
guilty, leave my presence.'' So some embarrased men exited the church.
''Brothers and Sisters, I also understand that there have been some she'n and
she'n going on. Those who are guilty, leave my presence.'' So some women got up
and exited the church. The preacher looked around and the only one left in the
church was a little boy sittin' in the front pew. The
preacher walked up to the boy.
''I would like to commend you for being such an upright, loyal Christian.''
''Hold up now preacher. If you had gotten down to some me'n
and some me'n, I'd have to get up and leave too!''
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| Posted by Playful on 10-Aug-2005 | "I was behind you in McDonald's"A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5, 000 and
feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and
buys a paper.
Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking,
but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35, " was the reply.
"I'm actually 47, " the man says happily.
A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the order taker
the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?"
"Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about himself.
While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young
there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants
and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact
age."
As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her
slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47, "
Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's".
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| Posted by Angi502 on 07-Aug-2005 | "Great, just what I need," she moaned as he..."Great, just what I need," she moaned as he brought home a new microwave
oven. "One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty
seconds."
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