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| Posted by Brad Smoley on 09-Aug-2005 | Wish comes trueA couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Anna F. Greble on 09-Aug-2005 | New cowA man and his wife were on a train passing through farm country.
As the train slowed down they saw a bull mounting one cow after another.
The wife turned to her husband and smirked, "Why aren't you men capable of doing things that way?"
"My dear," he answered, "We can if you let us change cows each time!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Aimeekat on 09-Aug-2005 | Black magicAn old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:
Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? That this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?
The wife put down her drink and said. . .
"Nah... let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Ryan Johnson on 09-Aug-2005 | The real Joe SchmoeJoe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid.
But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him.
The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?"
Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following.
A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?"
Again Joe thought this was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Barry G. Wood on 09-Aug-2005 | A visionWhat's the difference between a vision and a sight?
When my wife gets dressed up for a party she looks like a vision, but when she wakes up in the morning she's a sight.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Pink Floyd on 09-Aug-2005 | Anti aging drugSome people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way.
Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Andy replied,...
"Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five..."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.
Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying...
"WHOA, hold on there sweety!" Andy interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!"
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis
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