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| Posted by funny he bitch on 09-Aug-2005 | Wishing FrogA woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and he said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes, whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."
So, KAZAM! She's the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."
So, KAZAM! she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Submitted by Danalockett
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Christopher J. Lennon on 09-Aug-2005 | GoofyMickey Mouse goes to see his lawyer demanding a divorce from Minnie Mouse.
The lawyer reads the divorce papers that Mickey had prepared and says that
the fact that Minnie has large teeth that stick out is not sufficient
grounds for divorce.
Mickey looks up at the lawyer and says "I didn`t say she had large teeth that stick out, I said she was fucking Goofy"
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| Posted by Adam speeden on 09-Aug-2005 | Bad dayA woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle.
Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.
Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by Simba A. Rafiki on 09-Aug-2005 | 12 packA father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle.
The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''
Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''
Submitted by Curtis
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| Posted by garren l. vanderpool on 09-Aug-2005 | Not that muchA middle aged Jewish gentleman is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
He says, "So what would you like, my dear? A Jaguar?
A Sable coat?, A diamond necklace?
She says, "If you don't mind, I want a divorce."
He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Calamjo
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| Posted by alison l. connolly on 09-Aug-2005 | $20 for sexThe young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state.
Over the next few minutes she heard of the ravages of financial ruin caused by corporate down sizing and its effects on a 50 year old executive.
Calmly, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 12 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars.
Pointing across the parking lot she gestured toward the local bank while handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and informing him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank.
She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, and this was the result of her investments.
By now he was distraught and beating his head against the side of the car.
She asked him why the disappointment at such good news, and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
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