|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Ba A. Bi on 11-Aug-2005 | Womem's LamentWomen's Lament:
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have
no money.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with
money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat
heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual,
somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and
have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy
and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose
interest in us when we take the initiative.
And yet, WOMEN are the CONFUSING sex?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by matt on 11-Aug-2005 | The Classic Man JokeQ:Why do men stand in front of the mirror naked?
A:Because objects appear larger than they really are.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Will F. Murray on 11-Aug-2005 | Ticket to TitsburgA guy goes to buy a train ticket, and the girl selling tickets has an incredible set of jugs.
He says, "Give me two pickets to Titsburgh...umm...I mean, two tickets to Pittsburgh". He's really embarrassed...
The guy in line behind him says, "Relax, pal. We all make Freudian slips like that.
Just the other day at the breakfast table I meant to say to my wife, `Please pass the sugar', but I accidentally said...
`You fucking bitch, you wrecked my life!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Weasel D. Aerokid on 11-Aug-2005 | Lucky Guys!Darn, it's good to be a man.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just
too
icky.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about cars and trucks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
your
friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a six-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
You don't have to shave below your neck!
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45
minutes or less.
Now do you understand why men are so cheerful?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by If Amblue on 11-Aug-2005 | Three MenThree men were sitting on a bridge one red head one brunet and one blonde the first one said if my wife packes me ham agian im gonna comit suicide and jump off this bridge. 2 man goes if my wife packes me spagagtti agian im going to comit suicide and jump off this bridge. 3 man says if my wife pakes me salami agian im gonna comit suicdie and jump off this bridge. The next day the first one got ham his jumped off. The 2 one got spagetti and he jumped off the bridge. The 3 one got bologna and he jumped off the bridge. The 1 wife said im so sorry, the 2 wife said im so sorry, The 3 wife said don't look at me he packes his own lunch.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Rubester on 11-Aug-2005 | Are You Sure?Drinking A completely inebriated man was stumbling down
the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the
gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal.
You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure
I'm drunk?"
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I
thought I was a cripple."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
