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| Posted by Stephen W. Gradwell on 12-Aug-2005 | Your Are Available?A lonely divorcee was driving home from work one evening when she saw a man trying to hitch a ride. She picked him up and they got to talking.
"What do you do?" she asked him.
"I recently escaped from prison for having killed my wife."
"Oh, does that mean you are available?"
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| Posted by Tutti Fruitti on 12-Aug-2005 | Which Secretary To Hire?An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."
To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)
The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.
The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.
The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.
Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
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Answer: Well, DUH!...The one with the biggest breasts!
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| Posted by Alli M. Kranz on 12-Aug-2005 | Woman/CarI think it was in Britain where a billboard advertising a car read:
"If this car was a woman, she'd get pinched in the butt."
Underneath which a graffiti read:
"If this woman was a car, she'd run you over."
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| Posted by Saloom on 12-Aug-2005 | Virtual Reality Not For WomenMy wife gave me a lesson the other night on User Interface Problems, that really points up some of the differences between the sexes.
We were watching CNN's Technology program they have on weekends, when a segment on Virtual Reality came on.
Looking at the all the wires and gadgets, she turned to me and said that Virtual Reality would never catch on with women.
I was puzzled by this, until she explained, "Every woman's first thought on seeing that helmet will be, 'I can't wear that.
It will mess up my hair!'"
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| Posted by Luis H. Praun on 12-Aug-2005 | Keep Your Seat, Please!A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchical society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already!"
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| Posted by Josh Fife on 12-Aug-2005 | Reasons For John's Sex Change10. Lower auto insurance premiums.
9. Easier to get job because of hiring quotas.
8. Cleaner restrooms.
7. Tired of boring men's fashions and wants something new and exciting.
6. Women live longer.
5. Can get easily picked up in bars.
4. Really likes the guy next door but knows that he is not gay.
3. Failed to make the MEN'S U.S. Olympic Ski Team.
2. Wants to be an assistant to Clarence Thomas to find out if "it's really true".
And the number 1 reason why John is officially becoming a woman:
1. PMS - An Incredible Sensory Experience!!!
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