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():love jokes (2491): zoe and kals dating tips cont |
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| Posted by Jeff J. Friesen on 14-Aug-2005 | zoe and kals dating tips contWhen you are going out together
1. Avoid at all costs comparing your current boyfriends faults
with your ex boyfriends good points.
2. (No offence to women) But women do have a tendency to nag,
men will always be the laid back ones who dont seem to give a
damn whether or not they see you often, whether they do or not
remains a mystery.
3. Avoid the green monster!!! (JEALOUSY!)
4. Dont nag. Discuss situations which have occured, either on
the phone or face to face, not txts or internet.
5. A texting relationship, is a dreadful relationship. This is
because everything is slang, eg I luv u? Spelt wrong, it just
dont have the same effect as when spelt properly or said with
true feeling.
6. Make sure you talk about sex issues when you feel ready for
it, dont leave things unsaid or you wont know where you stand
with each other.
7. Lads! Please try, make an effort, it doesnt exactly make a
girl feel too great when her boyfriend acts like he doesnt want
to spend quality time with her, eg time spent alone.
8. TALK SO YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN ACTUALLY HEAR YOU!!!!!!!! (just
kidding, well it can get a ickle bit annoyin sometimes but also
sweet)
9. Give your girlfriend help when she is giving you sexual
favours, eg point out what you like best, this goes both ways
girls, were not all mind-readers you know!
10. Dont try to pressurise your boyfriend/girlfriend into doing
anything they are not sure about. It could ruin everything for
both of you. You may not think it girls, but this applies to you
too.
When the relationship has ended.
1. Do not be bitter, about anything. For example do not talk
about how your ex is small in particular departments and how
they cannot perform to certain standards.
2. Try not to check up where your ex is or who he/she is with
now.
3. Do NOT under ANY circumstances send letters, texts, emails or
anything of the sort telling your ex you still have feelings for
them. This is a VERY, VERY bad idea!!!!!
4. Second time round doesnt usually work out too great, think of
the reasons why you ended it in the first place!!! (in my case i
am trying to prove this wrong!!! It WILL work out better for me
and the current boyfriend this time round, the second, well i
bloody hope so anyway!!)
FINALLY BOTH OF YOU NEED TO TRY AND MAKE THINGS WORK. So good
luck to all of you in a relationship and we hope we have helped
you out with our youthful, but knowledgeable insight to the
world of teenage dating!!
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| Posted by Gina G on 14-Aug-2005 | Half And HalfFour close friends who lived in the same apartment building are
enjoying the boardgame they are playing until a woman walks in
and slams the door behind her. "You created an I hate Annie
Knoller Club!" " Well Ya Annie." "Just what do you do in this
club?" " Just make up rumors, they aren't that bad." " so what's
this rumor that you made up?" "Well, nothing much, just that
your parents flipped a coin and it landed as tails so ignoring
the fact that you were female you would be treated as you had
male reproductive parts." "so you gave me a teenie weenie!?" "Ya
pretty much" " Well I have a rumor about you too, it's that you
made out with the 50 yrs. old libarian during high school" " How
did you know?" " I thought I made it up" "I had no idea you
liked the libarian" " she was pretty damn ugly dude" " Hey well
she looked 16 and not 50!"
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| Posted by jumbo shrimp on 14-Aug-2005 | Snake in jungleThere was once a little girl who was in the bath with her mum,
"mummy," she asked, "what's that?" pointing at her privates,
"that?" stuttered her mum, "why, that's my jungle dear."
"Oh," replied the daughter, as she stumbled off to bed.
The next night, the girl was in the bath with her dad, and when
she looked down she became confused. "Daddy?" she mumbled,
"what's that?"
"erm....... my snake. That's my snake darling, don't go near it.
ok?"
"Ok dad," she replied.
On the third night the girl went into the bath with her mum
again and, pointing at her tits asked, "What are they, mummy?"
Her mum quickly replied. "they are my headlights darling." and
with that the young girl dropped the subject.
Late that night, when everyone was tucked up in bed, the little
girl suddenly shot up in bed and ran into her parents room
yelling "Mummy, mummy, quick, put your headlights on the snakes
going into the jungle!"
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| Posted by stan81 on 14-Aug-2005 | ShowerOne day a boy wanted to take a shower with his mom, when he
asked her sshe said alright just dont look up or down. So when
they were in the shower he looked up n e way, and said, mom what
are those? Lightbulbs, she said (oh he said) Then he looked down
and said, mommy what is that, Grass. (oh) The next day he wanted
to take a shower with his dad he said ok, just dont look down.
"ok dad" When they were in the shower he looked down (n e ways)
He asked dad what is thaT? he said itss umm A SNAKE. (oh) The
next day he wanted to take a shower with his mom and dad. And
they both said, "ok" When they were in the shower,he said to his
mom, "MOMMY MOMMY TURN ON YOUR LIGHTBULBS THERES A SNAKE IN YOUR
GRASS"
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| Posted by Leila K. Barker on 14-Aug-2005 | Joke to play on friendThe following is a conversation between you and a friend
You:"I can't believe they're still together after all that shit!"
Friend:"WHO?"
You:"My but-cheeks!"
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| Posted by josh baker on 14-Aug-2005 | WormsOne day a newly wed couple was on their honeymoon. The husband
didn't know she had worms. The problem was she farted in her
sleep. So in the middle of the night he always woke up with
worms covered in shit, crawling on him. He didn't know how they
got in the bed. So one night he set up a video camera to see how
they got in the bed. He saw something come out his wifes ass and
crawl out of her panties. He called his dad " Dad you were right
i shouldn't have married her so soon. She has shit oisters." He
laughed and said "well it must be a pain in her ass!"
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